i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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