Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
