ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
