ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
