Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
