What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize