She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
