I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
