I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize