lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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