Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
her vagine was all disorganized.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
