4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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