I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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