omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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