i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
