so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
