dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ladies don't puke and tell
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
