Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
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