just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
