Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
