need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
