We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
