What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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