He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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