trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
