im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
