So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize