He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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