I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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