dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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