My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well I just put wine in my tea
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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