My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
