When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
