i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
