she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
