You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
