I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
