Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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