you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
