My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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