Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Be still, my beating vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
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