Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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