ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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