I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
