is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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