News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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