thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize