i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
