i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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