were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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