Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
