dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
