After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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