she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
