The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
