I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
