she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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