I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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