We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize