if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
