with your own penis?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
