someone threw a dead crab at me
I want to make a zoo with you.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
