he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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